Tammy Gets Chipper!
by Obscuris
Summary: Tammy from Adventures in Squirrelsitting still has that major crush on Chip, and now she decides to get him... and she'd do anything to get him! Now read and see why it's called Tammy Gets Chipper. :


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"Tammy Gets Chipper!"

  
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By RescueAgent

  
  


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Now, if this were a normal Rescue Rangers adventure, we would start with them in a middle of a case or something. Or perhaps just relaxing at headquarters. But this isn't a normal episode at all, as you can tell. In fact, nothing is going to be normal for a certain little squirrelly girly and a certain little detective 'munk.

It all begins in that squirrel's tree home somewhere close to Chinatown, evening time. Tammy Acornett scribbles in her redish diary in a daydreamy manner with a dreamy look in those sapphire eyes of hers. Obviously she likes the subject she is writing about, and like it she does.

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Dear Diary:

I met Chipper... I mean Chip and his friends again yesterday. But he had an incredibly bored look on his face. But it was certainly a cute _look. But anyway, he talked a lot of stuff about their recent cases, like when they switched bodies _(I thought that was funny!)_, and when they had to help some poodle lady--Candid Le Purr, or whatever her name was, I can't remember. He said they haven't had that many cases after that. But still... he looked all-so-handsome while he was talking._

If his friends weren't there, I would've loved to take him somewhere to tell him how I really _feel about him. But then I'd probably chicken out again like the last time I tried to tell him. Maybe it's 'cause his friends were always nearby and I'm afraid one of them would hear and mess it all up._

Suddenly, our favorite squirrel brightens up as she gets a bright idea, which explains why should brightened in the first place. She gets a good idea. (Tammy smiles even more.) A great idea! (Tammy grins.) She gets a wonderful... _awful_ idea! (Tammy grins evilly.)

She continues writing in her diary, this time in a much more enthusiastic manner.

__

...that's it! I've got to somehow get his friends out of the way so that we can be alone without interruptions! And I think I know how I can get rid of each of them... Hee hee hee... ha ha ha ha.... Mwahahahaha!

Tammy (scratching her head, puzzled): Why am I laughing? And why am I writing all that in my diary? (erases the laughing bit)

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I better go to bed now, before Mom starts fussing. Goodnight.

Love, Tammy Acornett 

The teenaged girl then shuts her ruby-colored diary to a close and locks it with a rodent-sized gold key, before putting the both of them away into her desk drawer. That is, until she remembers that if she puts both the diary AND the key in the same drawer (which appears to be a common mistake from most cartoon characters for some reason), an intruder could easily unlock it and read her precious personal thoughts. So she stuffs the key into her "secret place," which is her pillow case, before slipping into her magenta nightgown and flopping onto her comfy bed. She grins as she awaits the day that she'll finally win "Chipper" forever!

Tammy falls fast asleep, smiling and dreaming up warm and cozy fantasies having something to do with a bomber jacket-wearing chipmunk.

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The next morning is a typical morning for the Rescue Rangers. Gadget spending the morning in her workshop, Dale watching some action cartoons (Rubber Bando in particular), Chip reading one of his favorite Sureluck Jones novels, Monterey Jack and Zipper playing a checkers game of some sort at the board table... Okay, so it's not very typical since we don't always see them do that, but hey...

Anyway, Gadget Hackwrench is tinkering around with a... doodad of some sort that kinda looks like a rodent-sized phone. Trying to invent her own cell phone, perhaps? Maybe. But that isn't very important right now. What IS important is a silhouette of a not-so-tall, dark stranger with bluish eyes peering into our favorite mousie from a nearby small window. The stranger taps on the window, startling the inventor mouse due to it being so quiet earlier. She looks around until she sees the mysterious "person" waving to her from the window. The stranger makes a sign that says "Come outside, I want to talk to you... alone." And then he/she/it(?) disappears. Well, not literally disappear... she walked away, actually.

Gadget becomes puzzled and is almost tempted to call the others, but then remembers what the mystery person "said." Not wanting to risk something she might regret later (though she could regret it anyway whether she brings her friends with her or not), she slowly opens her workshop door and peers around. The others are currently so busy doing their own thing that they don't notice their only female comrade sneak out of the front door. They don't even hear it shut. Just goes to show you how "relaxed" they are.

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The daughter of a certain late Hackwrench mouse crawls around the tree until she sees the stranger in sight, standing on a thick branch with its arms crossed. The "person" is dressed in a thick, black cloak and hood, completely shielding all features except her aquamarine eyes, which are gazing into Gadget almost in an "I'm going to get you somehow" way.

Gadget: Um, may I help you? Who are you?

The stranger holds up "its" paw--showing that it is brown-furred--and speaks in a voice of someone with a terrible cold. Or someone terribly pretending to have a cold.

Stranger: I know who you are, Gadget. (Gadget gasps) I have heard of you and your friends' Rescue Ranger work from others, and I heard that you are a magnficent inventor. I am here to tell you that there is a whole bunch of new electronic equipment dumped into the junkyard. If you get there fast enough, you can explore and maybe grab some of your own parts before some other genius does.

Gadget: Really? New electronic equipment? But why can't I bring my friends with me?

Stranger (rolling its eyes): Ptttpppt, please. They looked a little too comfortable to me. Do you _really _wanna drag them into some smelly ol' dumpster on a beautiful day like this?

Gadget (thinking about it for a minute): Well, I really _don't _want to disturb them, but--

Stranger (rudely interrupting): Then why not go now? C'mon, you're a big girl; you don't need some bodyguard chipmunks, mouse or fly with you all the time, now do you?

And with that the stranger vanishes from sight by climbing up and down the tree branches with great agility and speed, almost in a poetic way.

Gadget (does a "Thinker" stance): Hmm. I guess I _could_ go. Though I usually don't take any advice from strangers. Especially those I've never met before. But then again if I was always like that, I wouldn't have gone with Chip and Dale when I've first met them, and then I wouldn't be a Rescue Ranger. But still, I have a bad feeling about this. ...though maybe it's those cheese waffles Monty made.

Now we all know Gadget is smarter than to do what a total stranger she has never met before says. But for the sake of this particular story, she WILL believe "it." So she scurries along into the junkyard. Meanwhile the mystery person quietly laughs to itself.

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Monterey Jack frowns in disappointment and frustration as he once again loses another game of Checkers to his long-time fly friend Zipper.

Zipper (grinning): Buzzz! ("I win again!")

Monterey (mumbling): Crickey....

Before the Aussie mouse could sulk anymore, there are some hard knocks on the front door of Rescue Rangers HQ. Seeing that everyone else besides Zipper is too busy doing their own thing (and/or for some reason, ignoring the knocks) and not wanting to look anymore stupid in front of his insect pal, Monty walks over to it while talking to Zipper (who is flying behind him), moreso to himself.

Monterey: Hmm. You'd think that loud bangin' would stir some attention from those fellas.

Zipper simply shrugs as Monterey opens the door out of annoyance...

Only to find nobody behind it. Zipper perches himself on his older friend's back, and they both peer around to see if the person purposely hid his-/herself in a lame game of hide-and-seek. That's when a note suddenly falls from the sky. Well, not really the sky, more like from an upper branch. The two friends could only get a slight glimpse of someone dressed in dark before it disappears out of sight.

Monterey Jack scratches his head in puzzlement before he takes the note and reads, while Zipper flies over it to read as well:

Monterey (reading):

"Greetings, Monterey Jack:

I hear from fellow animals, whom you and your friends rescued once, that you have a love for cheese... (Monty mumbles "That, I do!" with pride.) Well, today is your lucky day! A ship is going to come at the docks at noon, and I heard that baby is full of extra-delicious cheese! You better go now, and I mean NOW, before you miss it all! Oh, and don't tell your friends about this at all, 'cept maybe your fly friend.

Signed, Wouldn't You Like To Know?" 

Monterey: Crickey! A bloomin' che-ee-eeeeeze ship! Dat's somethin' I CAN'T miss, right Zippa me pallie?

Zipper: Buz! ("Right!")

Monterey (scratching his chin): Mighty peculiar that whoever sent this here letter didn't jus' tell me in person. Even more peculiar that we can't bring the others. Then again, this is _cheese_ we're talkin' 'bout here. And I never pass up on chee-eeze!

Zipper: Buzzzz, buzz, buzzzz! ("I don't know, Monty, this could be a trap! I don't think--)

Monterey: 'ey, wait... (reads) "P.S. There are apples on the ship as well, which means there would be loads of applecores for the fly person."

Zipper (immediately streaking to Monty's shoulder): Buzz! ("Okay, let's go!")

And so Monty and Zipper, making sure the chipmunks weren't looking, set off to the docks, though perhaps not thinking about whether or not this _could_ be a trap like Zipper said. Aw well, they'll learn.

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Chip (still looking at his Sureluck Jones novel): Hmm. It sure got quiet around here. I don't hear Gadget working anymore. (looks up and becomes confused) And where are Monty and Zipper?

Dale (watching the tube/almost zombified): ...dunno...

Chip (removing his fedora to scratch his head for a minute): Hmmm. I'm worried. Perhaps I should look around.

And so for the first time since we first saw him, Chip puts down his novel and leaves the main room to search for the others, not knowing that they are long gone. And even if they weren't, it would probably be useless for Chip to look for them anyway since Gadget could be taking a break from her work and Monty and Zipper could be minding their own business somewhere else in headquarters. Nevertheless, our worried black-nosed chipmunk decides to check it out.

So anyway, as soon as Chip left, the other chipmunk hears the sound of the front door opening and then closing again. At least he thought he heard it, being too busy looking at some cartoon after all. But his undivided attention toward the big-screen television _does_ shift when he hears something quite interesting on the radio. (I'm not sure if they have a radio or not, but let's pretend they do for this story.)

Radio(female voice): This just in! Brand new, never-before-seen comic books are now being sold at your local comic book store as we speak!

Dale(practically jumping up to the ceiling): WHAT!? N-N-New comics!?

Radio: That's right, new comics! Don't ask where they all came from nor why we're selling them now! You best get them all before they sell out forever! Go, go, go, GO!!

Dale(rushing to the door/hurried voice): I'mgoingI'mgoingI'mgoing!

As Dale climbs down the HQ tree, he suddenly thinks to himself in wonder.

Dale: [Why did that voice sound familiar to me?]

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A minute or so after Dale's blasting out of the house--in a speed that could put a certain speedy hedgehog to shame--Chip returns to the conference room.

Only to find his best friend Dale gone, too. Chip puts on his practically trademark frown and almost slams his fedora.

Chip (annoyed): Darn it! Now DALE's gone, too! _Where is everybody!?_

Voice of the "Stranger" (out-of-sight): Oh, you won't be seeing them for a while, detective!

Chip whirls around to find the mystery person creeping out from under the table where the radio is. Still covered in that thick, black cloak, the person points to the chipmunk detective known as Chip Maplewood and speaks in a "flirtatious" tone of voice.

Stranger: I've got you in my clutches at last, Chip!

Chip (angry): Who are you? How do you know my name? And where are my friends!?

Stranger: (giggle) Okay, number one: I'll tell you in a minute. Number two: Number one will automatically explain number two. And number three: I've lured them all out so it'll be just you and me. I sent a little letter to Monty and Zipper and now they think there's a cheese and apple ship coming; I tricked Dale to dash to the comic book store; and Gadget's probably scrambling everywhere in the junkyard by now. (giggle) Knowing how much they love their respective thing, they probably won't be back for a long time, wanting to be _absolutely_ sure that it isn't a trick.

Chip(removing his hat to scratch his head/puzzled): I don't get it. While didn't they tell me they were leaving?

Stranger: Simple. I told them to go by themselves and not to tell anybody else. I especially didn't want them to tell _you_, lest you'd get suspicious and stop them... or at least go with them.

Chip (now scratching his chin/thinking): [I'll have to admit--this person is pretty clever.]

Chip(out loud): All right then, who are you and why do you want _me_ so bad!? Are you part of Fat Cat's gang? Or were you sent by Rat Capone or somebody to spy on me?

Stranger(giggling): Hee hee, nope. I haven't been sent by either of those guys. I've actually sent myself... _Chipper_!

Chip(confused but suddenly gets an idea who the stranger is): "Chipper"...?

Then, in a speed that defies all logic of someone wearing heavy clothing, the mystery person removes its cloak to reveal itself to be...

Chip(semi-shocked and angry at once): Tammy!

...though you most likely knew it was her, anyway.

Tammy(smiling flirtatiously): Now it's just you and me, Chipper.

Chip(angry/drawing closer to the girl squirrel): Tammy, what the heck do you think you're doing!?

Tammy: Hee hee hee, I think I'm going to _get_ you, Chip!

Then Tammy takes steps closer to "Chipper," still keeping that flirty smile of hers. A chilly fear suddenly creeps up on Chip and he backs off, holding his paws out in a "No, no, no..." way.

Chip(nervously): Uh, Tammy, maybe we should talk about this...

Tammy: Talk later, action now!

Before the chipmunk could say anymore, the squirrely girly suddenly pounces with her lips puckered up, ready to give her crush the biggest kiss of his life. Fortunately for Chip and unfortunately for Tammy, Chip leaps to the side and evades the "attack," and Tammy lands flat on her face on the floor. Her crush then decides to make a run for it, pretty darn scared now. But fortunately for Tammy and unfortunately for Chip, he's running on two legs... and Tammy hops back up and runs on _four_ legs, giving her the speed advantage. Soon Chip finds his exit blocked by a love-crazed teenaged squirrel.

Tammy: There's no escape, Chipper! Not even Gadget is here to stop me this time!

Chip: (gulp)

"Chipper" then makes a dash for every window in the room, but Tammy is much too quick and whenever she gets close, Chip has to stop opening a window and either jump out of the way or simply run. Chip would hide under a carpet, only to find Tammy already there. Chip would cower from room to room, only to discover that Tammy is way ahead of him. It seems no matter where he goes, the teenaged squirrel is already there! It's like a Droopy Dog-style chase scene as the two rodents run, dash, jump, knocking and breaking stuff down, anything to get what they desire. Tammy's desire to get Chip and Chip's desire to get the heck out of there!

The chase appears to be lasting an eternity to the detective chipmunk and it finally takes a toll on his energy, for he is getting mighty exhausted. But eventually he loses Tammy and makes it back to the main room. (Though I doubt you can lose anybody you're running away from, inside a tree...)

Thinking he's safe, he sighs with relief as he gets ready to run out of the front door and to the outside, in hopes of catching up with at least one of his friends. But all his hopes are shattered when he hears the voice of Tammy Acornett screaming (out of fun, not of fear). Chip whips his head around to find her sliding down the spiral slide on her belly... and he's right in front of it! Chip barely gets a chance to move out of the way before Tammy finally tackles him, pinning him tightly on the floor on his back, with her on top. The chipmunk tries to break free but Tammy has him with a tight grip so tight he can't break free. Either Tammy's been training somewhere to make her stronger and more flexible or Chip's a real puny guy.

Chip (struggling): Ugh... Tammy, why are you doing this!? Ahh!

Tammy(smiling): Because I _love_ you, Chipper!

Chip (blinking): ...if you _really_ "like" me, you wouldn't express it like THIS! I mean, you were always so sweet and gentle... And you know I--

Tammy: Who cares? I'm just glad I have you. Now for the making out!

Tammy tightens her hold once more as she puckers up her lips again, getting them ready... this time undoing the buttons on her shirt with one paw, trying her best to hold her grip with the other.

Chip(thinking): [So I guess I'm done for... Man, this whole day's been a nightmare. First Gadget accepts offers from a stranger and goes out on her own, which isn't like her. Then Monterey and Zipper do the same, which also isn't like them, except maybe Monty. And Dale... well, I know HE'D do it, but still.... And now I'm gonna get... you-know-what by Tammy!]

Tammy undoes the last button of her shirt and gets ready to remove it. Chip almost immediately closes his eyes and turns his head away (as much as he can turn).... Then suddenly a thought comes into his mind. Well, maybe it should be thoughts (plural), but you get what I mean.

Chip(thinking): [Wait a minute... Everyone is serious out-of-character here. Gadget going out on her own and generally not acting as smart she usually is; Monty and Zipper disappear without telling me or Dale, even if a "stranger" DID tell them not to tell us; Dale was being weirder than usual; and Tammy is especially not herself... And I doubt there could be mind control going on... Hmmm. Out-of-personality... "making out" when I don't really want to, especially from some psycho girl... no one coming back after realizing it was a trick... no escape... and me terrified.... This could only mean one thing. This's all a--]

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Chip(screaming awake): AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

!BONK!

Dale (worried): Hey, Chip, wake up! (!BONK!)

After three more bonks on the noggin, Chip Maplewood fully wakes up, at the same time bonking Dale for bonking him. He (Chip) looks around to find himself back in his bedroom. He feels on his forehead to discover he is or was sweating profusely. Nevertheless, he flops back down on his bed with a _huge_ sigh of relief.

Chip: A dream... It was all a dream... No, it was a _nightmare!_

Dale(curious and concerned): You really spooked me there, Chipper. What happened?

Chip (sitting up and sighing): Oh, you don't want to know. It's way too weird. (pause) How did I get to our room, anyway? Wasn't I in the living room reading a Sureluck Jones novel?

Dale: Well, yeah. But you fell asleep.

Chip (scratching his head): Then how did I get here?

Dale(shrugging): Well, you were sleeping so peacefully 'n' stuff and that beanbag you were lying on didn't look comfortable enough, so I moved ya. Uhhh... is that okay?

Chip(smiling): After that nightmare I had, I'm _glad_ I'm in the comfort of my own bed. Maybe now I can go back to sleep and...

After thinking about it for a moment, he suddenly realizes he might dream that awful dream again. Something he wouldn't want.

Chip: On second thought, maybe I'll go and read my book again.

  


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Chip, with a couple of Surelock Jones novels in hand, creeps out of his room and into the conference/living/etc. room. Before he sits back on his favorite beanbag, he checks up on Gadget in her workshop. He is relieved to see she has fallen asleep on top of her tools, probably exhausted. He smiles at her cute she looks asleep on the "job."

Then he sneaks into the kitchen to discover Monterey Jack and Zipper cooking up lunch. He hears Monty talking something about "grilled cheese," with Zipper grimacing (the Rescue Rangers almost always have cheese on or with something for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner). Chip grimaces himself but is still glad they're here and acting like themselves.

Smiling, Chip is about to rest on his favorite seat, when there are loud knocks on the door. Before the detective could even react, Dale flies past him (not literally though; he just ran really fast) causing Chip to top spin in place in a cartoony style... even though this _is_ a cartoon.

Dale: I'll get it!

Chip (top-spinning): Whoa-whooo-whoooahhhh!!!

Dale swings the front door open to reveal...

Dale: Hiya, Tammy!

Tammy: Hey, Dale! Is Chipper... I mean Chip here? I want to talk to him... alone.

Dale: Sure! (then shouts _quite_ loudly) _Hey, Chip! Tammy wants to talk with ya!_

When Chip's daze finally wears off and when he sees Tammy Acornett smiling at him with those flirtatious eyes, his eyes suddenly go wide with panic and he freaks out with the wildest wild take ever seen on Chip 'n Dale's Rescue Rangers.

Chip: Waa-waahhh-WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

A second later, Chip is _out of there_! Quite possibly trembling under his blankets, terrified.

Tammy (confused): Gee, what's his problem? All I wanted is to ask him if we could go to the library together to read a few books. I know he likes that place, so I thought he'd be happy to come with me.

Dale(shrugging): I dunno. Sheesh, and he says _I'm_ weird!

  


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THE END

  



End file.
